"OH I could just KILL him!" "I am going to KILL her when she gets home!" I have said it. Many times. Did I mean it literally? Nope. Yet those words fell out of my mouth. Anger manifested itself in an ugly phrase and hung in the air. No one who knows me would think I might actually kill someone, but I have definitely said the words. If you are a parent, a spouse, a child or sibling, an employee, you know what it is to be angry. Max Lucado brings us to 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 in chapter 8 of A Love Worth Giving. "Love...is not easily angered."
Early into Genesis, we see the result of anger in the story of Cain and Able. Wrath took Cain over and he literally took the life of his brother. Unchecked anger can lead us to unimaginable places. Anger, in and of itself, is an emotion created and given to us by God, so it has it's place in our lives. Ephesians 4:26 says, "Be angry and do not sin." It was possible for Cain to feel what he felt without doing what he did. He allowed a legitimate emotion to lead to illegitimate action. Sin.
Paul tells us love is not touchy, irritable, quick tempered, quick to take offense, easily angered - it does not fly off the handle. The account of Cain is the first mention of anger in the Bible. According to Max, "it will show up some 400 times between here and the maps in the back". Rejection led to Cain's murderous rampage and it shows up again in the life of Jospeh. His brothers felt rejected because little Joe was the apple of Daddy's eye. Saul got "ticked off" when David was appointed king. God got mad when David tried to move the ark of the covenant by cart. He SMOTE Uzzah when he reached out and touched the thing! (yikes!) Jonah - we all know he felt about the Ninevites! "The fire of anger has many logs, but according to biblical accounts, the thickest and the hottest block of wood is rejection."
Anger is a defense mechanism. I have begun to learn that focusing on my disappointments, disillusionments and unmet expectations leads down a path of anger and then roots itself into the depths of my heart and grows up the nasty little seeds of bitterness. According to God's word, there is no place for that in our lives. Hebrews 12:15 "See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;" Ephesians 4: 31-32 "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
BUT...maybe you don't understand! Maybe you should hear what he said to me, or see what he did or didn't do! If you could just walk a mile in MY moccasins! Pitiful really. I try to stop myself when this line of thinking enters my mind and remind myself that there are people hurting, dying even, and I have no real problems. Now, denial is not a good thing either. We need to confront our anger and determine it's source. Sometimes we need to (gulp) have a confrontation with someone, not in an ugly way, but an honest one. Perhaps we should simply confess that we feel angry because.... (fill in the blank). Let the other person know how we are feeling and why, but only after we really assess the situation and decide that it is important enough for follow through. Remember that Paul tells us that love is not touchy and irritable. Occasionally, I just need to get over myself!
However, here is the driving force behind this idea of love not being easily angered for me. Get ready. It is tough! Anger that gets out of control leads to unforgiveness. That is a dangerous place to live. According to Matthew 6:14-15, "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." OUCH!
Max writes a thought that I really like. "If we think God is harsh and unfair, guess how we'll treat people? Thaaat's right. Harshly and unfairly. But if we discover that God has doused us with unconditional love, would that make a difference?"
I would like very much to be forgiven when I do something wrong, so the Bible tells me to be forgiving of others! That sort of extinguishes anger on the sport. At least, most of the time. God loved me enough to send his only son to die in my place. Jesus loved me enough to actually do that! He looked right at me, saw all the nasty sins I would commit, the thoughts I would think, and yet, he died for me. When I get really mad, I try to think about that. What right have I to get worked up against someone else when God forgave me of much worse? Max ends this chapter like this.
"Let's take our anger to the tree on the hill. Leave your anger at the tree of Calvary. When others reject you, let God accept you. He is not frowning. He is not mad. He sings over you. Take a long drink from his limitless love, and cool down."
I haven't read Max's book but it sounds like I need too! There is so much true here especially "The fire of anger has many logs, but according to biblical accounts, the thickest and the hottest block of wood is rejection." How I can relate!!!
ReplyDeleteKeep up with the posting! You are doing a great job!!!