It starts early. WAAAAHHHH! I am HUNGRY. NOW! WAAAAHHHH! I want to be HELD. NOW! Later, while still a precious toddler, we grab the toy out of other hands and scream, "MINE!". And then, to prove that God has a sense of humor come the teenaged years! Now meeeting the needs of an infant is very different than observing the selfishness that is innate in a toddler or a teenager, but my point is that we enter the world needy, determined to have our needs met. If they aren't met when and how we like, we tend to act out until we have been passified. I'd like to believe that my selfishness was put away and locked down as I left childhood behind, but there are times when I find myself thinking, "But, what about ME?" How many times do we hear the phrase, "I have my rights!" or, "It is my right!" or, "This is America! We have our rights!"? Now, I believe in certain unalienable rights; Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness (Notice that does NOT read Promise, but rather, Pursuit!). But it doesn't take a lot of deep thought to realize that we as human beings have a problem. Selfishness. Which brings me to Chapter 7 in Max Lucado's book, A Love Worth Giving. This chapter has an interesting title: Getting the "I" Out of Your Eye, based on 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, "Love...is not self-seeking." For those of us who are believers in Christ, we are admonished to put old things away. 2 Corinthians 5:17: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” And then, we are taught to grow up! 1 Corinthians 13:11: "When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things." We've all read or heard this, but have we applied it? Love is not inexpensive. It costs us all. Many great minds have written about this subject. Many of those are quite sad in nature. Take these for example.
Ernest Hemingway said, "Life is a dirty trick, a short journey from nothingness to nothingness." He tragically committed suicide.
Henry Longfellow wrote, "Life is but an empty dream..."
Samuel Butler said, "Life is just a long process of getting tired."
Samuel Becket said, "Life is an indefinite waiting for an explanation that never comes."
Sad, don't you think? This is what comes of focusing on ourselves. If I sit around thinking only about what makes me happy, what makes me feel good, what determines my personal fulfillment, I am a selfish, superficial person. Having endeavored that in the past, I came to realize that the harder I worked to fill the void and find happiness, the lonlier, unhappier and less fulfilled I became. Strange how that happens. I have learned that I am always at my best when I am giving myself away. Focusing on the love that Christ gives me, the way that He loves me and trying to mirror that in my behavior toward others makes me feel really satisfied. Do I do this perfectly? Not by a long shot. I get tired and then someone expects something of me or needs something from me and I want to say, "Can't you see that I am tired? Don't you know what all I have done today?" Not loving. Not Christ-like. Poor little put-upon me. WAAAAHHHH! Pay attention to me but leave me alone! Can you relate? The result is that I feel guilty, once given what I have demanded for myself. I have acted unlovingly and sent someone who cares about me or relies on me away with hurt feelings. Love requires more of me than I sometimes want to give. This is why Max's idea of removing the "I" from my eye hits home! The Bible has a lot to say about this, and I'll get to that in a minute. First, I'd like to quote one of my favorite authors, C.S. Lewis. He had something to say about the cost and effect of love that flies in the face of the authors listed above. This is from his book, The Four Loves.
"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell. I believe that the most lawless and inordinate loves are less contrary to God’s will than a self-invited and self-protective lovelessness…We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as a way in which they should break, so be it. What I know about love and believe about love and giving ones heart began in this."
Selfishness is a love killer. We claim our rights by trampling on those of others. What is the greater good in that behavior? James 3:16 (CEV) says: "Whenever people are jealous or selfish, they cause trouble and do all sorts of cruel things." Paul writes: "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." (Phillipians 2:3-4 NASB)
When the Bible states that love is not self-seeking, it means we cannot expect to get in return what we give to others. This goes so against my nature that I cannot stand it at times. But the way I feel has absolutely nothing to do with God's direction. He tells me to grow up and put away childish things. To be about my Father's business is a tough call. But the rewards? Heaven? My loved ones, friends and people I come in contact with need to see the love of Christ. His is the only love that is perfect and the only one that lasts. Our world, so caught up in rights and personal happiness is falling in on itself. Don't trample on me!, is the mantra of the day. It leads to emptiness. Give me peace, joy and the fulfillment of Christ! Here is my "I" Lord! Take it! Give me more of you so that I can experience and provide a lasting love. A Love Worth Giving.
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